So there I was, in Charleston!

People who know me might be vaguely aware that I spent these past few days in Charleston, South Carolina. All in all, it was a splendid time filled with good people, good company and good food; as Thanksgiving is wont to be.

While there, I was a guest at a condominium development that had mysteriously sprouted up in the time since I was there. I say it was mysterious, you see, due to the fact that the economy is all but dead. As it had been a scant year since my last stay, I see no reason nor means for this sizable property development to have come about.

Now, I must tell you of the many great meals. There was seafood presented to me upon my first night... and it was naff. I ordered a platter of fried shrimp and when it reached me - one and one half hours thence - it was both burned and cold. I was incensed and demanded that the chef commit seppuku. Sadly, he refused to comply and after denouncing the restaurant as a 'degenerate committee of arseless fuckwits', I was escorted from the premises. (Never eat at the Carolina Shrimp Company, in other words.) Dinner ended up coming down to this:

Awakening hours later with a satisfying hangover, I crashed into the living room of the condo where my family had assembled. Asking how my night was, I groaned something about politicians and profligacy, wishing my assorted relatives a happy Thanksgiving while procuring several strips of bacon and a pot of coffee from the adjoining kitchen to ease my headache. I returned to my bed chambers for a few hours to shower and emerged, as if from a cocoon, to stalk the Charleston afternoon on my way to my grandparents' house for a Thanksgiving feast. Having eaten entirely too much, I slept in the car that night.

The next day was one of snow cones on a freezing pier and the harassing of fellow tourists in the seaside community of Folly Beach wherein we stayed. My brother and I had a tremendous time of it, eating seaside pizza and calling people horrifying names - 'cuntmaster necrophile cumlord' being among them - and generally had a tremendous time. The day was concluded with fish and chips and a far too stuffed me.

Awakening today, I braved a car ride home filled with a dreadfully boring football game on the radio. I slept through most of it and I am sure this was the right thing to have done. All in all, it was a grand time. I only wish my lovely fiancee had been there to enjoy it with me.